Background: I ordered a gymnastics mat. It arrived. It was like the most enormous mattress you’ve ever seen. I had thought because there was a picture of a folding mat next to the product that I purchased, that it was a folding mat. I did not have space for a non-folding mat. I attempted to [...]

Note: I’m no longer pretending that this blog is anything other than a collection of the letters I write to customer service (and CC the executive board on, if I can locate their e-mail addresses, which I almost always can.) Here’s my latest, to MindBody Online, purveyor of the most mindbogglingly backward “client management” (? [...]

Dear Cablevision, Here’s the thing: please don’t call me. Ever. I am extraordinarily uninterested in your latest special offer, particularly if you would like me to add a service that I had to spend multiple hours on the phone with you canceling the last time I was unfortunate enough to end up with it. It’s [...]

Let’s face it, the documentation on the MailChimp site is paltry, at best. I’m going to add things here as I come across them.

First up, full documentation for the DATE merge tag.