Frankly, I have never, *NEVER* experienced more extensive, ongoing incompetence than that displayed by the folks answering the phone at Cablevision. It’s probably not the fault of the poor schmuck whose unfortunate job it is to actually answer the phone. But seriously, when I call to have a service disconnected, I expect that service to be disconnected. When I have to call twice because I keep getting bills that says it isn’t disconnected, I am somewhat discomfited. When I have to call THREE TIMES and you DENY ALL KNOWLEDGE OF MY EVER HAVING CALLED BEFORE, that makes me LIVID. I honestly think I just popped a few blood vessels. And I’m not usually a very angry person.

Just part of the conversation:

Me: I’ve called to have this service canceled three times now, and I’d like you to refund the money I’ve paid you over the past 6 months that was related to this service.
Cablevision: We have no record of your previous calls, sorry. It says here the last time you called was in March.
Me: You know, the first person I talked to mentioned that your system shows I called in September.
Cablevision: Oh, wait, maybe I see something here. Please hold.

Sadly, this was EXACTLY the conversation I had the LAST time I called these people. “Oh sorry, we have no record that you called previously.” I’ve never seriously considered recording my calls before, but next time you can be sure I’m going to.

I never thought I’d say this, but: dear Verizon, I miss you so much. Please bring me FIOS as soon as you possibly can. I just can’t wait to give my money to you instead.

In any case, I naively assumed that it would all be wine and roses, everything would work perfectly, and I would be able to easily do seemingly simple things like sharing my sweet new 3G connection over Airport with anyone else who happened to be working in my general vicinity. Upon eagerly tearing open the modem packaging and plugging it in though, I discovered pretty quickly that this sh*t is UGLY.

First of all, I couldn’t just plug in and get going. The Mac drivers for this thing aren’t part of OSX, and AT&T didn’t even bother to include them in the modem package. I had to go to some third party website and download them (support.option.com/att.) At least they took the time to write that in tiny type on page 30 of the manual.

Secondly, the third party application added a whole bunch of ugly, seemingly unnecessary network interfaces, and REMOVED all my EXISTING network interfaces. Clearly this wasn’t going to work. Not only could I not share my 3G connection with any other interface (since they’d all been disappeared,) but I couldn’t use any of my other interfaces at all until I disconnected the 3G.

[On a side note: googling the problem has indicated that this is also a major problem for Parallels and VMWare installs, which rely on adding network interfaces to get access to the host connection. Disappearing them all means that the guest OS can't access the 3G connection.]

But enough about the problem. Here’s my solution. Basically an updated version of the solution found here: Imperfect Workaround.

This works with the AT&T USBConnect Quicksilver Modem with DataConnect package, and Leopard (OS 10.5) on a Macbook Air.

1. Install GlobeTrotter software as indicated by Quicksilver manual (Download from support.option.com/att — download link is tiny somewhere in the middle of that big blank page.)
2. Plug in card and run GlobeTrotter Connect
3. Connect and ensure your card is working this way
4. Disconnect and quit GlobeTrotter Connect
5. Open System Preferences, and click on “Network” (Choose “Edit Locations” in the Location dropdown menu, then choose “GlobeTrotter Connect” and click the “-” button.)
6. Delete the “GlobeTrotter Connect” location
7. Delete all of the weird network interfaces that GlobeTrotter has added (mine were called something like ‘Icon 322 Modem,’ ‘Icon 322 Diag’ etc.)
8. Hit the ‘+’ button at the bottom of the interface list
9. Choose Interface: Icon322 Control. Call it whatever you want (mine is called ‘Evil 3G Control’)
10. In the right-hand pane, enter this information:
• Configuration: Default
• Telephone Number: ISP.CINGULAR
• Account Name: ISPDA@CINGULARGPRS.COM
• Password: CINGULAR1
11. Click the “Advanced” button.
12. In the “Modem” tab, choose:
    • Vendor: Other
    • Model: Option GlobeTrotter 3G
13. Leave everything else as-is, and click OK
14. Click Apply, the click Connect.

This should get you connected. I have found it to be very slightly tempermental, but not too bad. I’m not sure what will happen if you uninstall the GlobeTrotter application — if you try this, let me know what happens!

Leave me a comment if you got this to work, or had problems with it!

I’m here to tell you the good news. There’s hope, and it comes with a 15 day free trial.

First of all: it would be remiss of me not to mention GCalSync—an up-and-coming open source solution that lets you sync Google Calendars to Blackberries OTA. However, wonderful as GCalSync is, it’s a tad lacking in the Google Apps for my Domain arena (it won’t let me use my GApps login directly, and attempting to download calendar data from my “private calendar” URL results in all of my events showing up on December 31st, 1969.) That said, although I have not myself attempted it, I hear it downloads events from regular Google Calendars quite well.

But on to the main event: syncing a calendar (or, for an extra $40, calendars) to/from Google Apps for My Domain to your trusty Crackberry.

To achieve this mammoth feat, you will need to:

1) Set up an account with GooSync.

2) Tell them your Google account information. You will not be able to use their (allegedly) magical “auto-setup” utility, or their “you don’t have to tell us your password” Google Calendar authentication. This is the one thing that’s a little chancy about this operation—you do actually have to give GooSync your password to Google (choose the “I want to use password authentication” checkbox.) Therefore, you should likely not use the same password for Google that you use for your bank account, or the nuclear missile silo. Although if you ask me, any company that’s based in Wolverhampton Science Park is bound to be trustworthy.

3) Visit Nexthaus using your Blackberry’s default web browser and download and install their excellent SyncJE client software (http://www.nexthaus.com/bb/syncjebb.jad.)

4) Open the SyncJE client, select “Settings”, and enter:

• Server URL: http://www.goosync.com/sync/sync.aspx
• User Name: [your goosync username]
• Password: [your goosync password]
• Check “Calendar” and set: Foldername: Calendar

5) Hit Save.

6) Select “Start Sync.” When it completes, you should be able to see your Google Calendar events in your Blackberry calendar!

7) (Optional) Pay Nexthaus $29.95 to get a license so that you can sync for more than 15 days.

8) (Optional) Sync multiple calendars by upgrading your GooSync account (~$40 extra). Once you’ve upgraded, go to the “My Device” screen in your GooSync web console, and click the “Change…” link to the right of “Sharing 1 Calendar.” GooSync automagically loads all of the calendars you have set up as Shared Calendars in your Google Calendar account. It lets you name them, and events from that calendar will show up prepended with [calendarname] in your Blackberry calendar.

As you may have discerned, I am mightily excited about this. Now all I need to make Google Apps truly mobile is a Contacts sync (which GooSync says is in the works).

Note about my setup: I did this on a Blackberry 7130e on Verizon’s network.  To get it to work on a co-worker’s Blackberry Pearl with T-Mobile, I had  to configure their TCP to use T-Mobile’s APN: Go to Options > Advanced Options > TCP, and set APN to wap.voicestream.com.

For other networks, search for “[network name] WAP APN”.

But I digress. I got a Blackberry. Now I could install all of those lovely Java apps that Google is releasing these days, right? This was very exciting. Seriously exciting—I ripped open the box the minute it arrived.

Sadly, my euphoria was short-lived. After some back and forth with Verizon, my phone was activated and online. But, every time I tried to install a Java application (mobile Gmail, mobile Google maps, Opera Mini, etc., etc.) I got this error:

HTTP Error 406: Not Acceptable

The page you are trying to load is not supported by the browser. Please try loading a different page.

Details: 200: Application can not accept the content [text/vnd.sun.j2me.app-descriptor]

I’ll admit it, I pouted.

And then I did some research. And waited on hold with RIM customer service for about 3 hours.

What I discovered was this: my Blackberry was formerly part of a monolithic corporate network. It was chained to an Enterprise Account. The all-powerful IT Department bestowed their Security Policy upon it. And now, that Security Policy, much like a hot iron brand, is officially with it for life. Wiping the device cannot remove it. Kicking, screaming, and threatening to sue RIM cannot remove it. The original owner’s IT Department can remove it, by sending a new Security Policy, but that would involve figuring out who and where they are, and persuading them to do work that they have pretty much zero incentive to do.

The Security Policy seared onto my Blackberry does not allow third party apps to be installed. So, I would be right back where I was with my WM5 phone if it weren’t for the Awesome Power of the Internet.

Here’s your solution

If you are also having this problem, you may want to take a quick look at this page: http://blackberry.ig3.net/

Now, I’m still in a little bit of a pickle, because I don’t have a PC. Therefore, I’m stuck trying to make Parallels play nice with USB devices. When (and if) I get it all to work out, I’ll post an update.

The Update

The workaround is great—the only problem I had was getting my Windows running under Parallels to recognize my Blackberry. I finally gave up and just used an old PC laptop we had lying around the office.

This is the e-mail I was hoping never to have to write: the final confirmation that it’s really over between us. I’ve given our relationship a lot of thought lately, and I’ve decided once and for all that you and I are just not meant to be.

I know it’s upsetting to lose me, and I don’t want to kick you while you’re down, but I think it’s important that you realize: it’s not me, it’s you.

It all started out so well—our honeymoon on the Upper East Side, when it took a single try (after a mere week’s wait) for you to get me up and running. Back in those days your install team really seemed to care—I even vaguely recall getting a hand-crafted e-mail response out of an install coordinator. Your inflated pricing seemed like a bargain for all that great service. Who wants to deal with Verizon anyway?

Things began to sour when I moved to Brooklyn. If you don’t like Brooklyn you should just have said so, and we could have ended things civilly. I have the sneaking suspicion that Brooklyn wasn’t the only problem though. Your install team didn’t respond to e-mails anymore. You rescheduled Install appointments without telling me; couldn’t quite manage to update my contact information when I requested it; billed me for a “missed appointment” that I spent a perfectly good sick day to be at home for.

Through all of it though, I kept loving you. I thought of the static IP address; the tech-friendly use policies; the still-helpful customer service people. Despite the horror of almost a month without broadband, I stuck with it. I gave you my best. I wrote you long e-mails with friendly suggestions on how to improve your install process.

Once the install purgatory was over with, everything was wonderful again. Alright, so you weren’t quite as fast as you used to be, but at least you were chugging away at it. I dreaded the day moving would come between us again.

Inevitably though, moving day rolled around. I was reassured by your upbeat “Moving? No Problem!” attitude. You promised me an install date within a week of my move. You whispered sweet “keep your IP address” nothings in my ear. I was made hopeful—nay, confident.

It was all going so well. On the evening of my install date I swung open my front door, whistling a happy “I’ve got broadband” tune, and headed straight over to plug in my router. Alas, illumination of the DSL light was not forthcoming. I called you to find out what had gone wrong. Surely there had been some minor hiccup that you could sort out in short order.

Unfortunately, it seemed that you had entered my order incorrectly into your system. The nice young man I spoke to apologized profusely, promised to fix everything up, and (once I had suggested it) offered me some interim dial-up to tide me over the week until my next installation date.

It just so happened that a couple of days later, I stopped in at your website to see how things were coming along. While I was there, I just so happened to notice that instead of one install date, I now had two install dates—and the first was for that very day.

Momentarily thrilled, I poured over the installation details… only to find that you were planning to send a technician to my apartment to install a service that I did not want and had never requested. Frantic, I called my install coordinator.

Ha, fat chance of getting through to an install coordinator. I still suspect that they’re imaginary—your way of pretending that you’re giving me good service, when in fact you’re giving me the equivalent of Verizon’s automated phone service (“If you’re calling about superfudgalicious Internet service, please say ‘superfudgalicious Internet service’.” To which I say, “Fuck You. 0000000”).

Still frantic, I called install general. I was reassured that the order would be cancelled. Technicians would be recalled. My install would go ahead in a week, as scheduled.

Here’s where it gets ugly. I returned home to my DSL-free apartment to find that, despite all the promises, a technician had indeed paid a visit that day. And had managed to disconnect my phone service. I was alone, with no DSL, no phone, and (hence) no dial-up.

I’ll admit it—I lost it. I kicked and screamed. I called you all of the bad names I could think of. I tried to call you from my cellphone to let it all out on some poor schmuck working the night shift, but you put me on indefinite hold. (That was probably smart.) I tried to sleep, but my mind wouldn’t stop churning out plans for revenge. I tossed and turned. Finally, normal business hours rolled around.

You know the rest. You didn’t argue much. I have a sinking feeling that although you agreed that there had been failures on your part, you’ll be sending me a bill for an “early termination fee” or some such. Here’s your prior notice: I won’t be paying that. Ever.

What I found most telling in our final conversation was your suggestion that I call Verizon to have my phone service restored. It suddenly became clear how little you know me. For the record, approximately 50% of the reason I stayed with you as long as I did was to avoid calling Verizon. If I wanted to call Verizon, I could get DSL for half the price you charge.

So that’s it then. It’s over. Despite it all, I still wish the best for you. Maybe you can learn from this little incident, and find happiness with someone else. Myself, I called Verizon. They’re installing their dirt-cheap, “what’s a static IP?”, “you’ll have to install our software” DSL service next week.

Still crying in my oatmeal,

Samantha

[Update (02/27/2006): Speakeasy sent me a bill this morning that included an $150 “missed appointment fee”. That’s the final straw. I am never, ever recommending Speakeasy to anyone ever again. Sign up with Verizon, everyone—the same crappy service for 1/3 the price!]

[Note: I still recommend Speakeasy as a great ISP with fantastic customer service. I am treating this particular experience as anomalous because my past experiences have been so good. Still, be warned, Speakeasy! My beneficience only goes so far…]

Joe,

I just wanted to drop you a line to thank you for your help with my install, and also to let you know about a few things I think you could do to provide future customers with a more positive experience.

First of all, adequate communication with covad is absolutely essential. I missed an appointment even though I was at home solely because my buzzer is broken, and the covad tech had the wrong contact phone number for me. This despite the fact that I had called you to specifically mention that exact scenario as a concern, and to request that you update my contact information (as it was incorrectly listed in MySpeakeasy).

To add insult to injury, that was the second time I had taken the day off work to wait at home for the tech to come—the first time, covad rescheduled—but I was not alerted to this change until the daily update e-mail arrived. It was lucky that I took the time to actually read all the way to the end of it, or I would have waited around all day long instead of for only half of it. Equally lucky is the fact that I was able to check e-mail at all, thanks to a very temperamental open wireless network. Which brings me to my second point: phone communication with the customer awaiting setup is INCREDIBLY important, ESPECIALLY in the face of schedule changes.

Finally, and most importantly of all, you should immediately abolish the second technician visit from your setup. I was shocked and amazed to find out after more than two weeks without DSL that I didn’t need the second technician at all to start using it. I could have done that part of the install myself in approximately 27 seconds. I can’t really state this strongly enough. I, and probably most of your customers, depend greatly on high speed Internet service for their livelihood. The minimization of the period during which the customer is without the Internet at home is of the utmost importance.

I am actually stunned that I could have called you up 3 or 4 times to try to bump up my technician date without you ever seeing fit to mention that I could complete the install myself. I quite clearly remember articulating that the reason I wanted a sooner install was that Internet access was extremely important to me. I assumed, as I’m sure many of your customers do, that you wouldn’t want to waste a technician’s time with something that the customer could do very well on their own, or I would have tried it out sooner.

I’m not discounting altogether the idea of having a technician stop by to make sure everything is 100% kosher, I just can’t imagine why you wouldn’t help the customer get up and running in the meanwhile—if only to stop them calling and whining at you about how much they need the Internet!

All of this has been especially disheartening because up until this point, I have never received anything but the best service from Speakeasy. I pay the premium for your service because I don’t WANT to have to deal with the mockery of service that Verizon et al. offer. I hope sincerely that you will take at least some of this to heart, because I think you’re a great company, and I would very much like to see you wrest as much business as possible away from the service-impaired ISPs of the world. You’re not going to do that with the kind of service that I received.

Thank you again for the work you did on my behalf—in spite of the rant, I do appreciate that I now have DSL. And thanks for reading the rant (if you indeed did read it in its entirety).

Samantha